Magazine Advert Feedback

This is feedback i recieved for the first draft of the magazine advert i have created. It is imporatant to recieve feedback after a first dragft becasue it enables you to show the audeince what ideas you have in your head and they can spot the faults that you dont see in order for you to correct them and make the perfect peice which both the audeince and yourself can appreciate and be happy with.